Begin Again
Joseph Campbell’s theory of the Hero’s Journey describes the first step as the call to adventure.
This theme is present in all great stories. Some outside force acts as an agent of change. Sometimes, it is a specific event; other times, it is a slow, gradual disruption of the status quo.
For me, it was the latter.
That turning point happened around age forty, revealing a world that had always been there but previously unseen.
I cannot mark a specific a-ha moment. It was like a dim light starting to glow in a pitch-black room. I was drawn to books and personalities who wrote and spoke about a deeper aspect of life beyond the typical, “normal” everyday life.
Stepping away from the familiar rhythms of binge-watching shows or following every game was initially uncomfortable. There was a sense of missing out, but a more profound understanding of purpose replaced it.
This presents a whole new dimension of the challenge of straddling two worlds, the old and the new, in the same physical space—two versions of reality.
The pull of the old. Maintaining the status quo. Have the same conversations, engage in the same activities. But things that once provided pleasure now seem like a distraction.
Years ago, during my evening wind-down, I flipped channels until something caught my eye. Now, it's the quiet anticipation of settling in with a book that challenges my assumptions.
Where I used to jump into discussions about last night's episode, I now seek out conversations about ideas and personal growth, sometimes surprising myself with the depth of a connection I wouldn't have sought before.
For years, these were my go-tos, and honestly, they served their purpose as a quick escape or a way to connect with others. But eventually, something shifted within me...
I am physically present but mentally elsewhere. I am in a perpetual state of contemplation, processing a new thought, wrestling with a concept I encountered in a book or a podcast.
It’s difficult to describe the process of a shift in perception. It is uncomfortable and disorienting.
I constantly seek deeper intellectual stimulation and satisfaction, craving fulfillment and striving to avoid the trap of distraction. I yearn for a more profound understanding and connection, sometimes feeling like I need it more than my next breath.
Decades of life shaping a perceived reality now thrust into the chaos of the unknown.
Constant re-evaluation often brings surprising clarity. This morning, I reached a sobering milestone. While going through my archives, I found a piece I wrote seven years ago, describing my life ten years from then. At that time, I had many of the same thoughts and wrote about them, but they stayed just personal reflections, not actions. In a way, I betrayed myself.
Betrayal is a strong and intentional word.
But when betrayed, there is only one effective way forward. Forgiveness.
While the ideal time to begin anew would have been a decade ago, that didn’t happen. So, today, I begin again.
Perhaps it’s simply a matter of timing; so much of life is. Maybe it needed to marinate, or I’ve finally reached a breaking point. Is this reflection a second chance to move past the sense of betrayal and honor who I am?
Have you ever felt this way?
Ever wondered if there's more to life than what's usually shown?
Questioning what nourishes us is not only okay but necessary.
For me, the answer became clear. It’s about recognizing that the constant default external stimulation can often mask an internal void and that true fulfillment comes from a more deliberate, authentic way of living.
So, why resist and push back against the essence of who I am?
Discomfort.
As author Steven Pressfield describes, resistance, with a capital R.
It's time to begin again, getting comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Why now?
I can’t ignore the call; it will keep ringing. Do not disturb is no longer a viable response.
I have waded in these waters before, but never dared to swim away from the shoreline.
So, I arrive at a place of forgiveness, learning from my past self, and am inspired to move forward.
The words of former Navy SEAL Jocko Willink resonated strongly with this renewed sense of purpose, learning, and forgiveness.
He expands on Good by saying, “If you can still say the word 'Good, ' it means you’re still alive, still breathing, then you still have some fight left in you.
So get up, dust off, reload, recalibrate, re-engage, and go out on the attack”.
So here I am. Still breathing, and I have a lot of fight left in me.
The fight?
It's the daily battle against Resistance, the discipline to show up, to confront my thoughts, and to share them authentically.
Writing is a method of self-revelation, forcing us to explore our minds, unearth memories, challenge beliefs, and confront truths.
We observe and dissect experiences in solitude, gaining clarity by translating thoughts into words.
This introspection transforms us, helping us process emotions, gain perspective, and deepen self-understanding.
Writing helps organize thoughts, clarify positions, and deepen understanding. It transforms passive consumption into active engagement and influences our lives.
"Begin Again" is about a reorientation towards what I believe truly matters.
This is a declaration of my commitment to discovering more profound truths, fostering personal growth, and living authentically. It serves as a space for introspection and a desire to promote meaningful engagement with life rather than just fleeting entertainment.
I've discovered this path. I realize and accept that there's no one "right" way. I invite you to open your mind to possibility—there's no need to limit yourself to just one approach.
The comfort of remaining subscribed to the entertainment illusion is strong. But it just may be a trap. It may prevent you from seeing that there may be more.
Are you ready to begin again?