Becoming the Commander of Your Life

Forging Your Unique Path with the Wisdom of Others

What does it take to become the person you're meant to be? Not accidentally, but by design. This post is about that journey.

I have questions. My curiosity is relentless, not for the sake of being difficult, but because I care deeply about life, about growth, about becoming the best version of myself. And that journey starts with a question: Who am I?

Not exactly light fare, I know.

But questions like this are fuel. They ignite the engine of self-discovery and push us to examine how we got here and where we might go next.

It’s up to you to decide where the tracks should lead.

So here are some of the questions I’ve learned to ask along the way:

Who has shaped your thinking?

What have you learned from them?

Have you integrated their wisdom into your life?

What’s still missing?

What have you admired but not yet adopted?

Without asking questions, you’re navigating with no destination in sight.. Good luck with that.

The more pertinent questions here are, who and what have helped shape your ideas, and where did they come from? Who has influenced you, and who has influenced them? What pieces have you acquired (and integrated) into who you are?

And ultimately, who will you pass this on to?

Beingness is a state of living fully as who you are, not who others expect you to be.

The key to becoming is BEING yourself.

This idea builds upon "Begin Again," where I noted the shift from spending time on fleeting entertainment to strategically investing time in a quest for fulfillment and understanding.

In reality, there's a spectrum, and sometimes even "fleeting entertainment" can, inadvertently, spark a profound thought or a moment of authentic connection.

This thought construct leads us to ask, How did I arrive here? As the Commanders of our lives, we don't just 'arrive' in a state of beingness by accident; there are always outside forces shaping us.

If we are honest, we are a piece of the greater whole. Each of us is a part of something bigger. We become what we do and who we are as a result of what we allow to shape us.

Author and motivational speaker Jim Rohn once said that the people we associate with significantly influence our behaviors, attitudes, and, ultimately, who we become. It’s not just a quote; it could be a blueprint to help us build ourselves.

The people we spend the most time with are a reflection of ourselves, and they help shape who and what we are capable of being.

We need to be mindful that we are constantly being influenced. And with that in mind, it is crucial to be intentional in standing guard against negative influences and embracing the positive ones. Ultimately, we are individuals capable of making our own decisions. However, we must be keenly aware that the outside world always influences our choices.

Our subconscious mind absorbs ideas, attitudes, and even beliefs from those with whom we consistently interact. It's about exposure, osmosis, and the gradual adoption of perspectives that resonate with you.

My passive understanding of influence shifted thanks to two major personal influences.

Tim Ferriss and Brian Johnson.

The idea first became clear to me through two books by Tim Ferriss: Tools of Titans and Tribe of Mentors. These works distilled wisdom from high performers and helped me move from passive reading to intentional influence. It was a shift from consuming ideas to curating them.

I have invested time reading books, articles, and listening to many podcasts. Each of those authors had sources from which they drew, but reading Tools of Titans and Tribe of Mentors may be my first intentional experience of exploring a consolidated effort to learn from others.

Shortly thereafter, I discovered the work of Brian Johnson. Brian’s platform at the time was called “Optimize.” It has since evolved into “HEROIC.” Brian's approach is similar to Tim’s books in that they explore the words and works of others to help us build a consciousness tool kit.

I became so captivated by Brian’s approach that I enrolled in and completed the “HEROIC” Coach program. It’s a 300-day journey through ancient wisdom and modern science, offering tools that you can integrate into your unique expression of self, ultimately becoming a guide for others.

One of the many priceless lessons of the HEROIC Coach experience is the importance of having a Board of Directors. Think of sitting at a table surrounded by your hand-picked, most trusted advisors. They are your source of counsel to assist in building your life. The goal is to help you become the best version of yourself, serving something greater than yourself. To become the person who earns a seat at someone else's table. You become a Hero of your own life. Then, the Hero becomes the guide.

I have invested a great deal of time exploring their curation efforts to help shape who I am and who I am becoming.

Through their work, I became more curious about the individuals they presented. I became interested in learning more about these sources to be intentional about the pieces I would choose to help build a better Commander.

Tim and Brian both serve as personal models who understand the power of others' influence on their lives and have uniquely endeavored to become guides for others based on what they have learned. They didn’t prescribe this as THE WAY.

Instead, they showed me that there is much to understand and learn from others to shape the potential within me intentionally. My goal is to express that version of myself, to take what I have learned, and to be a guide for those in my little corner of the world.

Here lies the foundation of individual curation and the creation of the individual. It is the conscious cultivation of your inner circle, your tribe of mentors, or your board of directors.

You have a choice: passively absorb what’s around you, or consciously curate what shapes you. The question isn’t just who has influenced you, but who do you want to influence you next? Who do you want to become, and what ideas are worthy of building that version of you?

This is all a part of the Hero’s journey - who are your guides, and how will you become a guide?

As a Commander charting your course, explore widely; ideas, mentors, and wisdom. Try them on like new armor. Walk in them. See what fits, what inspires, what strengthens.

This isn't about becoming a carbon copy of someone else. Instead, it's more like melting down various ideas and putting them into your forge, then shaping them into something uniquely you. Exploring the world and its diverse ideas truly enriches our being.

And here’s the most liberating, perhaps even intimidating, truth: There is no "The Way." No single map handed down from the mountaintop, no one-size-fits-all prescription for how to build a Commander or live a heroic life. What works for one may not work for another, and anyone who tells you otherwise might be selling something. Your journey is yours alone to chart, guided by your compass, often through terrain others haven't even seen.

It’s in this spirit that I’ve chosen my trusted advisors, my council, my HEROIC Board of Directors, and my Tribe of Mentors. These are the individuals whose wisdom I’ve poured into my forge, shaping the Commander I am becoming. How you do this, and who you choose to add to your forge, truly becomes what and who you are.

Becoming the person you're meant to be isn't accidental. It's an act of conscious creation: one choice, one influence, one forged idea at a time.

In future posts, I’ll dive deeper into each member of my council. I’ll share the specific lessons I’ve learned, how I’ve applied them, and how you might do the same.

This is how we grow. This is how we lead. This is how we become Commanders of our lives.

And maybe, just maybe, you’ll become the spark that someone else needs to ignite their fire.